This week in Kickstarterland – 2015-09-19

Welcome back to another week in Kickstarterland. This week is a busy one, all about LEDs (lights, clocks, noodles, bikes) and exploration (in space, under water, on land and even music). But with all this brilliance, we also have to have pizza panties.

Spokenlights – LED POV system for your bike. Pity it doesn’t charge kinetically. Similar to the Monkey Light but programmable.
Brite Bits – Personally, I think this is how LEDs should always come.
Flicked – It’s really pretty but just a touch expensive for me.
Luminoodle – A slight twist on the LED strip.
ClockFOUR – When ClockTHREE isn’t enough, it’s time to roll out the next version with Neopixels.
Livall – Improving cycling safety with an LED helmet and look cool doing it. It’s actually a full system including a helmet, remote control, phone mount and cadence sensor.
SpaceVR – Sadly, I will never get to space. Maybe my kids might. This is probably the closest I will get.
Fusion guitar – Electric smart guitar with built-in amp, speakers, battery and iPhone dock!
7Bot – Desktop industrial robot. Really, who doesn’t want one of these?
Dobot – Pity I saw 7Bot first as this would have looked better without the comparison.
Trident – This second version of their underwater drone looks pretty amazing.
Hoverboard – I can’t say I was expecting yet another hoverboard. Note that this campaign closes on Oct 21st 2015. No guys, I didn’t miss it.
HiddenHUB – The third in their product line. I am not sure what to think of this. It looks like it might be better feature-wise than the competitors.
Klokers – We would all want weird watches, wouldn’t we?
Icebreaker – Ice making reinventedwith a twist. Pun intended.
Weekdate – Why use a computer/phone for your calendar, when you can invent a new one?
Batband and AfterShokz – Does anyone know what a “social lifescape” is? Why does John look like Geordi Laforge. I have backed two crap “bone conducting headset” projects. Not going to happen again until I know it works.
Angee – While this is a nice product its disengenuous to say that it provides security. It provides monitoring of your home but won’t prevent theft or violence. The best security is designing the outside of your home to be a deterent to anyone entering the home. Once they are in, its way too late.
Jogmod – This does make breadboards better … but I still hate breadboards with a vengence.
BRO Ball – Bluetooth speaker inside a useable football. Sadly, people aren’t as excited as they said they would be.
Ivee Voice – I backed their first project and it was shit. Hopefully they have learned their lessons. I won’t back them again. Amazon Echo works fine for me for now.
Neverlost – I quit playing golf because I lost too many balls. This was an obvious solution but I have waited 10 years to see it. However, it seems they were far from the first.
Comet – An Android phone with one redeaming feature, it floats on water. They clearly didn’t have a lot of money to spend on celebrity endorsements.
Left fielders

NoPhone Zero – Third time lucky. This zero-tech tool for zero brain people.
Quantum Flux – Evil genius or mad scientist?
Poop Sling – I can’t imagine exactly what is patentable about this. Maybe the toilet paper holder.
Pussy Protector – A home screening kit for infectious diseases.
Bad Parking Cards – Yep, it’s hard to not like these.
Pizza Panties – This guy is trying to live out his own fantasies by having women around the world wearing his thongs. What if this guy bought one?

Shitstarters

WiFi-MCU – Or you could just use an Electric Imp.
IoT PLC – These guys live in Silicon Valley but haven’t moved forward since the 70s. I covered their last project too. You should see their website!
Fixl – Everyone should have a guy standing behind the guy in front of the camera. Especially when they are seeking $350k.
Heyo – Who uses a landline anymore? Interesting idea, about 10 years late.
PoDDI – This guy is a moron. He should have website just for himself.
EOS – Yep, another absurd hoverboard. This guy is off his tree.
Pooch Selfie – Selfies are bad enough but don’t screw up your dog as well!
Quicklock – I hate companies that claim they are a “world 1st” when they are about the 10th. This is an indoor BLE/NFC lock that is very expensive and has many flaws.

And remember, its only limited by your frigging imagination.

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