This week in Kickstarterland – 2015-02-11

Welcome to another week of Kickstarterland. This episode is chock full of awesome and horrible projects covering (and apparently revolutionising) religion, sex, relationships and physics. We have connected dildos, robotic and electronic prayers, connected cups and power generation from urine.

Voltera – A circuit board printer which solders, places parts and reflows automatically. If this delivers on the promise, it could be a game changer for many.
Luna
– An electric blanket that is so smart it detects your sleep patterns, turns off your TV, locks your doors and makes you coffee in the morning. Pass.
Coolbox – A blatant ripoff of the Coolest Cooler but for your tools. At least they did a good job.
3DRacers – A 3d printed, real-world racing game. Finally, something to use that useless printer for!
Flotilla – Yet another hardware hacking kit, this time Pi bases and from the UK. These look pretty good but so do most of the others.
EasyPlug Air – Wow, another Arduino sensor kit. This one using the magic of wireless technology!
DuinoKit Jnr – This may not be the best video but it is one of the best electronics discovery kits which blends the Arduino with the old electronics kits.
OpenMV Cam – Python based open source machine vision hardware. The last MV camI purchased is sitting in a box somewhere.
Bluemometer – General purpose, waterproof, bluetooth thermometer.
Spider Wifi – Dual channel 2.4ghz router for lots of speed and to blast the neighbours off your channels.
Chop-E – An electric bike in a shape inspired by a Harley Davidson motorcycle. With a top speed of 35 km/h, you probably can’t use the roads safely.
Hive – A home automation, control, entertainment and security system. At list this one looks pretty.
xRemote – Another home automation platform (basically a remote control hub) that believes they have done something new. I have news for them. I wonder how many of these companies will be broke within 24 months.
Vexbox – A tool for parents who want their kids to hate them. It throttles the speed of specific websites. These guys don’t live in the same world as me.
Rouncer – Sometimes I just don’t get why people back a particular project. This is a perfectly fine looking mandolin tool but it doesn’t look any better than the other 100 products already on the market.
Coordimate – A rubber stamp that prints an empty cartesian graph. Clever, clever tool for all maths students. I imagine this will be the first of many useful stamps.
Piezo Film Speaker – This guy has come up with some great scientific projects and this is up there. Plus he says its only limited by your frigging imagination!
Neoh – A pretty obvious solution of adding motion sensing to headphones to allow 3D sound to work. But a really badly executed attempt at a funny video. And their claim of being the first is a bit silly as the Rondo Motion was on Kickstarter in 2013.
Kinskii – Share fun times with your kids when you are out of town. I appreciate what they are trying to achieve but I don’t think they hit it.
Daisy – Monitor your potted plant health from your phone. The product looks ok but these muppets are going to learn a tough lesson about the economics of business soon.
TarDisk – I don’t get it. This seems to be just a high capacity SD card.
LensRacks – I wish I had enough gear to justify this solution.
Smartstones – “Pioneering non-verbal communication.” I don’t really believe the world needs this, even if the video is slick and the product looks like a pebble. But I appreciate the attempt.
Entacup – Quantum entanglement for coffee cups. Like Smartstones but with coffee cups instead of rocks. Still just as pointless.
Tlinkle – When it rains, it pours. This is a connected team cup!
Carvi – A team of back seat drivers criticising you while you drive. The minor failure of this concept is most people think they are great drivers and don’t need help. Maybe a product like this should be mandatory for all drivers for the first five years of driving.

Left Fielders

Bilal Robot – This might have been an interesting project except that they are asking for more than a half million dollars. It teaches you to pray, to speak arabic AND to do maths in arabic! It even comes with a comprehensive patent.
365 Watch – For people who don’t have the time to read your bible every day … carry it around on your wrist.
Miss on the Go – Teledildonics at its finest. You can pleasure yourself, your partner or a complete stranger. All while doing your Kegels. Good to see that Canadians do relieve themselves.
g.vibes – A second company revolutionising sex with a remotely controllable dildo. They all seem to be made by geeks with a front-woman. No hamsters required.

Shitstarters

Spark – A watch that zaps you every time you zone out. I can’t think of a stupider product (except for while you are driving). How about a watch that helps you sleep better at night or does your chores for you so you aren’t so bloody tired!?
Ion Earth – A really clever idea but sadly a useless campaign. Someone with proper skills and budget needs to build this.
Coolest Clock – This is not as cool as the Coolest Cooler nor is it ever going to be built as presented. Backers be ware, my shit detector is going off.
Hybox – Apparently you can pee, cry or spill your soda on a Graphene plate and generate enough electricity to charge a smartphone. My guess is that won’t stand up to any sort of scrutiny.
MediaBox – Someone in South Africa forgot to check out Roku and every Android media player on Ebay.

As always, it’s limited only by your frigging imagination!

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