This week in Kickstarterland – 2015-01-12

Welcome back to This Week in Kickstarterland, the first edition for 2015. I have great expectation that this year will be another big year for crowd funding. This week was a busy one with returning to full time work during the week and camping on the weekend. The result is some of the campaigns have already closed and the rest are absolute fruitcakes. Bonus – it looks like Indiegogo have returned the “Fixed” vs “Flexible” funding … they must have heard me swearing at them.

Campfire in a Can – I could have used a campfire in a can this weekend. This really looks like a great grass roots creation.
Depth VR – This is not the first product to use this technique but it works really well. The only real issue is that only one viewer is trackable.
Viewbox – Everything works better in Neoprene, even a Google Cardboard clone.
Linkio – Yet another smart home hub, this time with a French twist.
Hyper-B – Hyperboloids, wrapped in a toy. This is just plain cool.
Timer Toppy – Little timers you stick on everything that spoils. Nice idea.
BitCube – One of the better looking technology kits similar to littleBits. I hope they pick up some momentum.
Hifi-Skyn – Less a skin, more a brick. I don’t understand why anybody would want to do this to their phone, but they do. I hope it sounds good and you don’t want to upgrade your phone for a while.
Daily Companion – An emergency alert system and medicine reminder system … upgraded to 2005 technology. The staff involved (including the attendant answering the calls) look older than the patients – that’s scary. Other than looking like it was design 20 years ago and the video getting a bit over the top with the emotional tugs and references to himself (the guy with an old dad, the airforce officer, the project manager AND the engineer), it generally looks ok.
Emoi – Yet another Bluetooth light / speaker. Blah, blah, blah. At least the video has some really good looking, happy people in it.

 

Shitstarters

Cooki – Cooking with the click of a button. These clowns are a long way from having a product of any value, even if their goals are noble. They shut down the campaign in three days. Let’s see what they come back with.
Tool2Find – For grandfathers that sneak out of the old age home and TNT couriers that keep losing their cars. It’s actually not a terrible product, just a terrible video. It uses GPS and GSM but is too expensive for most people.
Cool-K – He actually has an image that says “The future is here”. This keyboard is so virtual, it doesn’t exist. Nor does he have a budget for an assistant to help him make a video. I am not really sure the Lottery idea is going to fly either.
ThymeWarp – And I thought Cool-K was bad … this video is scary bad. I am not quite sure what he is selling, but I think he believes he invented internet video or video messaging. He needs to seek help soon … maybe from his “wisdom coach”. But he does have some pretty hockey-stick graphs.
Flip Keyboard – This guy should consider a career in marketing. He has nailed it.
Spintronic Generator – Another clearly senile project owner. All the loons are coming out today. This one wants to “convert the ether into electricity by spinning and flipping electrons” because they are “changing the paradigm of energy with truth and integrity.”
Guardoor – The cheapest security system in the world could probably be the worst. Get a dog, they are better.
Patron – “Genius” TV uses facial recognition and pattern matching to guess what you want to watch before you pick up your remote. I hope it turns the volume of the porn down.
WIFIER – A USB to Wifi bridge for suckers.
MobilePlus – A tablet with a built in scanner. I think not baby puppy.
FiiV – An iPad backpack with a GSM/Wifi access point. This is a product looking for a problem to solve.
Voucher – Connected receipt printers are a great idea (Grabble built this in 2010 and sold to Walmart when they went broke) but I can’t see these guys selling a solution to Best Buy.

 

Left fielders

Foot Hammock – Another first-world problem that must be solved
Porn Charity – Porn actors collecting money for STEM eduction by screwing on camera. Why the hell not!?
MiaMaxx – The worlds longest thrusting pleasure toy. They should have added Bluetooth support.
Ladodeya Elixir – Hair removal product for naked women with beards and women who hump trees.

 

As always, it’s limited only by your frigging imagination!

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